What? Four more girls in the fellowship?
by Ryu's Wyvern
Summary: Four girls get popped into Lotr without warning and lots of interesting things happen. On indefinite hiatus.
1. Prologue

Hello everyone, I am currently trying to fix my "big loooong paragraph" issue and decided to take a computer class, so now I am trying to HTML code the whole thing. Hope it is more or less pleasing to the eye!

Without further ado, I am proud to introduce my second fanfic. *Looking pleased with self*

-What? Four more girls in the Fellowship? -

Chapter 1

"So, Srennan, how did you get us into this mess again?" Arileen Valucci, a student at St. Maria Boarding School For Girls, complained to her fellow student, Srennan Chen. Srennan replied, exasperated, "I was talking to Ms. Angelus, and then the next thing I knew, she told me to decorate the Sec. 5 retreat room. And don't call me Srennan." Srennan Heittori, a distant cousin of Srenna (this is what she likes to be called as she hates getting mixed up with the other Srennan), piped up defensively, "Srenna asked you to help her and you agreed." "Be glad we didn't have to plan the five-day trip around the country." Lori Miller, the last girl of the quartet, said quietly. Lori, the prettiest of the four, had stunning blue eyes framed in long, dark lashes; her hair was a sea of gold, cascading all the way down to her back; her creamy complexion highlighting berry red lips. Arileen was average looking, but her face showed her stubbornness and braveness very clearly. Her brown hair fell on her shoulders, brown eyes of the same color stared at you under thin eyebrows, daring you to look straight back at her. The two Srennans were both typical looking Asian girls. Srennan kept mostly to herself and always had a dreamy look in her amber eyes. Srenna, on the other hand, was recovering from a bout of pimples, which left her lightly tanned face slightly splotchy, but if you look carefully, her dark caramel eyes held an unusual amount of mischievousness. 

Arileen, with her usual athletic skill, pushed the other three girls into the retreat room before either of the Srennans could protest. What they found was jaw dropping…

Hee hee hee, I just love cliffies. So how's this for a beginning? Review please, it is the only way I can sustain myself in these endless months, toiling to produce good fanfiction. Okay, okay, so I'm being dramatic, but reviews do help a lot, it keeps one's spirit up while one is writing. Oh yeah, a warning to all you poetry-hating people, I can get pretty poetic at times. I have the next few chappies all thought up, so the only thing that can stand between me and publishing these puppies are… Computer Problems! And, I must say, they occur pretty often. I'll try my best. School is my number one block on getting these things finished, and it doesn't look like it's ending any time soon.


	2. The Council of Elrond

          Hello one, hello all. I am back on the computer, now no one can restrain me from unleashing harm… *insane laughter*. My stupid freaking evil alter ego *holding up hands in innocence* downloaded a virus, so now we're banned on weekdays. It's not fair! *Tearing out my beautiful dark hair* I cannot stand not being able to type my beloved stories and post them, and all of my friends are bombarding me about the fanfic. Of yeah, my three best friends, with me (Srenna!) are in the fic. 

Disclaimer: If you think I own Lotr, go see a psychiatrist.

Enjoy!

          Srenna stood stock still, not believing her eyes. Arileen looked torn between screaming for joy and yelling: "Where the hell are we?" (Unfortunately, she did both, so it came out as "Woo hoo! Where the hell are we?!") Lori groaned and muttered under her breath, "Not the most boring epic ever!" Srennan was probing the surroundings to see if there was any accidental portals like the one they came through, but she had absolutely no luck. Srenna was yawning like there was no tomorrow, as she was very used to this sort of thing.

          The Council of Elrond was very disturbed. Srenna was actually trying to disguise the fact that she was reading the minds of those around her, and her yawns were her attempts at stopping laughing hysterically. Some rather interesting things she heard:

· The Ring: uh oh, my lord's nemesis is here! *Tries to move, not succeeding*

· Elrond: Ahh! Sauron's spies! Where is the bomb shelter?

· Legolas: Cute looking blonde there, I wonder if she's an elf. She reminds me of all five of my girlfriends J.

· Aragorn: How? What?? Why??? Mommy Gilraen!

· Arwen: Interesting result of daddy touching the ring!

· Galadriel (faintly, as she is quite far from Rivendell): My son and grand son-in-law are fooling around with the great ring. That Frodo looks cute. *Realizing what she is thinking and clasps her head in panic*  

· Frodo: Angelic presences! Anti- Nazgul!! Angels of light!!! I could go on, but you get the point.

· Sam: They'd better not try to harm my Frodo… wait, did I say "my" Frodo? 

· Pippin: Pretty girls in short skirts!

· Merry: I see horses in the distance!

· Boromir: Hmm… Frodo looks quite cute from this angle. 

· Gandalf: Not… the four foreordained changers of Fate?!

· Gimli: … 

· Random tree elf: … I wanna strawberry daiquiri!

· Crows of Saruman: Caw caw caw (I mean, "!")

So, it is no wonder that Srenna burst into spontaneous laughter, a the while sputtering, "We're" mad giggles "not" laughter "spies for" peals of laughter "Sauron." at this she lost complete control and collapsed on the floor, laughing madly. Unfortunately for Srennan, she was sent a mental instant message by her helpless friend, and in a flash, was also in gales of giggles. Lori was muttering under her breath "Okay… don't go into hysteria, don't go into hysteria, don't go into hysteria." Arileen was giving her evil glare to all that looked to be on the verge of grabbing a sword and kill her (trust me, if you know Arileen, it's pretty scary, she's glared at me countless times). 

Elrond finally gathered the courage to ask them who they were. Arileen, the only sane one for the moment, replied, " We are from another world, and happened to pop here accidentally."

"What happened to your companions?" 

"Umm, that I can't tell you. Am I right in saying that we are in Middle Earth and the Valley of Rivendell?"

*Speechless silence*

Srenna and Srennan finally stopped laughing; they both wiped their eyes and said, "That was priceless." Lori's eyes rolled and she started talking really loudly to Arileen. This is how their conversation went:

"Arwen"

"Eowyn"

"Arwen"

"Eowyn"

And so on

And on…

And on…

Until both the Srennans yelled shut up in their direction.

So, how do you like it? I was a little too tired from the murderous first term exams to write anything of value. It was supposed to funny, but somehow I don't think it turned out quite right. My friends now have a little club of Lotr fanatics. Arileen/Arwen, Lori/Eowyn, Srennan/Samwise Gamgee, me/dwarfish oriental hobbit, Eleanor/Lotr dictionary/Legolas, Patti/Eomer, and Eliza/Pippin, the names behind the "/" are our nicknames or code names.

Okay, I think you are all confused by the Arwen and Eowyn ricochet. Here's the explanation:

          One day, Arileen came to school with a cut on her cheek, exactly like the one on Arwen's cheek; turns out that her letter opener tried to kill her. Lori looks like the description of Eowyn in the book, so for a WHOLE period they went Arwen and Eowyn to each other, fortunately, our French teacher didn't care, so they got away with it. 

          All the characters in this fic are real. The little explanations are also real.  


	3. Horses, magical powers, and much more

Hello peoples, I am back. Well, my troop of friends and I are off to some new adventures. This chapter is where things really start up. I have the weird ability to be hyper and serious at the same time, so beware. Umm, thanks to those that reviewed. Actually, I was in a bad mood today so I'll do some thing bad, *evil cackles*. 

Just to make things clear, Srennan and I have wild magic (talking to and being able to turn into animals), omni-ambient (we work with the magic in all things), healing power, and also, we are psychic, but like if we overuse our magic we faint and wake up a lot later, unless there's a healer around. Lori has wild magic, and Arileen is a very powerful weather-mage. There are two horses, Rhiannon and Starbeam. Rhiannon is a winged unicorn in horse shape, and will turn into a unicorn at need; this gentle creature is Srennan's friend. Starbeam is mine, because she is my guardian angel that was once a star (hence the name). Both are palominos and very good at scaring Nazguls. Lori and Arileen have no idea they have magic, so we have to tutor them.  

Disclaimer: Like I said before, if you think I own Lotr, go see a psychiatrist. 

Enjoy!

Chapter Three 

"You see, we began giving nicknames to each other when" Srenna began apologetically, and was totally interrupted by a loud "Eeeeeeeek!!!" from Srennan's direction. Everyone's heads swiveled to see two magnificent horses standing upon the pavilion. Their manes were sleek seas of creamy moonlight. Their coats were pure pearl, shining and glowing simultaneously. Proud heads tossed yet were immediately calmed when Srenna and Srennan put hands on their noses. On the forehead of both horses there seemed to be two stars shining, on the one at the left, it was a gentle glowing ray of soothing illumination; on the other a brilliant radiance shone forth; eyes of dark purple stood out on the silvered forehead; diamond hooves stamped affectionately. 

When everyone got used to the shining of the horses, they saw Srenna and Srennan rush up to them and pet the horses like old friends. Srenna went to the one with indigo (A/N: if you haven't figured out by now, my favorite color is indigo) eyes, and Srennan went to the one with purple eyes. They basically buried their faces inside the horses' manes. The people closest to Srenna and Srennan (A/N: umm, let me see, they would be: Gandalf, Elrond, some tree elves, Legolas, and Aragorn.) could hear muffled speech coming from the horses' manes. Srenna said to her horse, "Starbeam! I can't believe you came! I missed you so much. How are the Tortallans? (The horse was last with her in Tortall, a place in Tamora Pierce's books-setting of my next fic.)" Srennan said the same thing, except her name was Rhiannon. The Rivendell elves couldn't get enough of those horses, so the four friends stayed for a while. 

Lori and Arileen had stopped yelling at each other and were staring at Legolas adoringly (A/N: I had to say something!). Srennan was so annoyed at the two misbehaving that she went into one of her rare tempers. "We are stuck here in the middle of nowhere with no chance of return and all you can think about is boys?! Do you realize that we will be stuck here forever with Sauron attacking in a few months?" She was so angry that she turned into an eagle, efficiently incinerating her clothes. Everyone gaped. Srenna changed into an eagle and struck Srennan unconscious, as this was the only way to silence her ear-piercing eagle screeches. Srenna changed back into a human, and, ignoring all the stares, made clothes materialize for Srennan. She decided to make everyone match and made a white pearly cloak, and a trauma-proof outfit, including shirts, sweaters, pants, and even boots. Srenna and Srennan (who has become her normal, quiet self again) compressed their backpacks' contents, leaving most of it empty for changes of clothing.

Elrond cleared his throat, determined to set Srennan to rights, since Rivendell is not what _anyone_ calls the middle of nowhere. Srenna stepped in and put a calming hand on her cousin's shoulder, sending mental messages to her friends, so it's no wonder they jumped. She said the following announcement both aloud and in their heads. "I have a feeling Sauron is behind all of this, therefore, we must join with your fellowship for a little while. My friends and I can offer some protection, though we hardly look it. If not, we'll go our own ways after our horses are settled." Gandalf had a feeling that the four would be needed on the trip, so he agreed, and as he was the director in most things, the rest agreed. Srennan and Srenna turned to Arileen and Lori and told them that they had magic. 

Arileen asked immediately, "What do I do?" "Well, you have to start controlling it, also, you'll most likely need to fight, so I'll roll meditation and sword practice into one." Srenna replied, knowing that the quiet kind of meditation would never work on her athletic friend. Lori, meanwhile, was complaining about voices in her head. Srennan, ever the patient one, told her that she had wild magic, the ability to change into and talk to animals. Lori looked bewildered and requested the whole business of magic explained to her. That occupied most of our four friends' dinner plate.

Hey! I can't, I just can't write long chapters. If I have less homework, it might be possible, but no sign of that relenting. Any questions, just ask me, I'll put the answer into the front of each chapter. Also, this fic will be long. So, as you probably noticed, I only produce a chapter every three weeks. It might take a while for me to finish. 


	4. Tipsy diary entries

          All right! I'm writing! I'm writing! Okay, you are probably very puzzled. My friend there, umm, Arileen, won't stop chasing me about the story. (Yes, she is the Arileen in the story.) Not like she knows how hard it is to write something funny and still manage to get the story in its original shape; that is almost impossible. *SNORT SNORT* (Arileen, that was for you) Now, where was I? Ah, yes, my fourth chapter; this one is a stress reliever for me *being chased around the room by a giant report card*. I get hyper when I am stressed, I know it's a very strange habit, but it's me *grins broadly*. We're just staying at the house of Elrond in Imladris for a few days. It's short little diary entries of us four. 

Disclaimer: "Ahh! Legolas is trying to steal my Herbal Essences!" 

WHAT!  Oh, oops, you got Lori's lines.

Disclaimer: I'm in dire need of a psychiatrist; anyway, I don't own Lotr, or else Sauron would have turned into a giant stuffed teddy bear for Gandalf! *Wild laughter* 

Srenna's diary:

Day one,

So far so good; why did I keep getting the feeling that I was being followed? I turned around suddenly several times, but all I saw was a shadow, wasn't so sure about the shadow either. Oh well, elf food can do weird things to you. Have you ever heard an elf-lord whistling? -Scary, very very scary. Like, every time I turn a corner, there goes Elrond, adjusting his headband and whistling. Man, that guy must have a self-image problem. If he weren't an elf-lord, I'd think he was spying. Wait… do I hear… AHHHHHHHHHHHH! Never want to see THAT again, never. Everyone is now running to my aid, I'll write later. 

Day one-later, 

Oof, that was harsh. Srennan, Lori, and Arileen (my roommate, who was doing something she wouldn't tell me, I have a feeling it wasn't all that innocent) came running to my rescue. They all demanded that I tell them what made me scream, ignoring the fact that the Azog the Goblin King probably fell out of his throne because of me. I told them that I saw a wheel of fire dancing around in front of my eyes (the truth wasn't even close), and judging from their sympathetic faces, they believed me. They were probably thinking about the One Ring. Nah, I wanted to spare them the horror of what I saw, they DO need all of their energy for the journey. I saw… I… can't-write-it. Moldy pastrami on rye!!! *Mental nosebleed* Okay, okay so you're curious, but, do you _have_ to know? Do you? I'm not telling you today. I just can't write it down. I need sleep. 

Nite.

P.S. Gandalf was on fire, like, Zirakisigil (did I spell this right?) style. That's what I saw. Okay? Can you stop now? I think the guy is practicing for the Barnum and Bailey Circus; on the other hand, it could be Moria he's practicing for.

Srennan's diary:

Day one,

Nothing eventful today. Boromir has such greasy hair, and he kept flinging it at me during lunch. Don't know what that guy has against Asians. The horses are worried about Srenna; she seems abnormally high today. Did you know, she kept turning around suddenly and then later asked if I thought anything was following us. The girl must be getting schizophrenic. Srenna started to scream loudly around five o'clock. Ow, there must be permanent ear damage done. The Ring was trying to tempt her, it seems. While admiring the Elves' work in the halls of Elrond, I bumped into Boromir at least three times. He might be stalking me. Note to self: ask Srenna for her anti-stalker charm. Goodness knows she's had enough stalkers to drive her crazy. (Now there's an idea.) Lori is rummaging around her bag and muttering about Legolas. Why was I paired with her?

I'm going to turn in early.

Nite.

Arileen's diary:

Day one,

I got bored early in the morning, so I went outside to breath the fresh air. The dew didn't dry the whole day. Never underestimate elf dew. I had to walk the whole day, squeaking through the halls of Elrond. Everyone gave me looks. Pippin actually challenged me to a contest of annoying the most people. I gave him a dirty look, and loftily told him that I don't resort to such means of attracting attention. I think he meant to attack Gandalf next. Must see this.

Bye.

Lori's diary:

Day one,

Legolas stole Emily's Herbal Essences Bath Kit! Legolas stole Emily's Herbal Essences Bath Kit! Legolas stole Emily's Herbal Essences Bath Kit! Emily asked me to bring in a prize for the retreat and that thief took it! Can't write anymore.

Bye.

Diary of Elrond, Lord of Imladris, powerful among Men and Elves:

Year: 5699th, day: lost count (I never was good with numbers)

I tracked the leader of the four intruders for the whole day. Think I gave her a fright. Arwen keeps telling me over and over about how she and Aragorn made out under the trees. Ugh. I miss Celebrian. Galadriel just gave me a fax by wind. Bad news, I must attend the secret council of people-who-don't-have-anything-else-to-do-so-we-boss-other-people-around, in other words, Council of Great Men and Elves.

Farewell.

Okay, so I was hyper, sue me. Do you like it? Review a bit will you? Thank you for reading this far. I know you probably wanted to quit halfway through, but I thank you for staying with me.


	5. Journey to Caradhras

          Okay peoples! I am baaaaaaaaaack! (Again) Since I have no idea what in the world a Mary-Sue is, I have every right to fall into its jaws. Fine, fine, fine, I wasn't normal that day. Gimme a break. It did say "Tipsy" in the title. So, if you have the time and patience, do explain what a Mary-Sue is. From now on, anything that has Mary-Sue content (even though I don't know what that is) will have "tipsy" in the chapter title, if you don't like it, skip the chapter. They'll be kind of an optional humor break. You won't miss anything. I only do that when I am hyper, and I'm not hyper often. Srennan was freaking me out that day when she tried to set fire to her homework and I was stressed, so under the circumstances, I go maniacal and hyper at the same time. If you think there is any way to improve my writing, tell me.

          My point is: the old me is back. 

*Lori: "I'm not sure that's a good thing."* 

*Evil glare at Lori*

So, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own Lotr? Really? *Jumps around ecstatically*

As our Fellowship embarks on a long and cruel journey, Lori is unusually quiet. Srennan and Srenna are bearing worried expressions, as they are the only ones (maybe Gandalf too) who know how much is at stake. Arileen seems to be the only one not perturbed by what they are about to do. Arwen gives Aragorn one more glance, and rushes back into the house, unable to stand it anymore. Elrond is giving Gandalf some last-minute tips on how to cross the distance safely. Gimli is sharpening his battle-axe, seeming to expect immediate bloodshed. Frodo is looking pale and drawn, like the night at Weathertop. Legolas is double-checking his arrow supply. Boromir has his head in a book called "How to Overthrown Your King" (Ha ha, just kidding). Boromir is actually practicing sword swings with Merry and Pippin. Sam is talking to his horse, Bill, about everything in the Shire and how, if he gets back, Bill will get a nice little pasture to himself.

Gandalf seems to have finished discussing whatever he was discussing with Elrond and led everyone off to a start on their adventure.

Gandalf and the two Srennans stayed at the front of the line. The two Srennans talked in low voices, no doubt about the chances of getting back home and what role Sauron plays in all this. Lori and Arileen were silent as they contemplated the natural beauty of Middle Earth, with an occasional stroke on the horses' mane (Lori was riding Rhiannon, and Arileen was riding Starbeam, Srennan(s) didn't feel like riding that day). All the hobbits were surrounding Frodo, concerned about his pallor and if he was sick again. Aragorn and Boromir were debating heatedly over which road they should take, once coming to the fork of Anduin. Legolas was scanning the horizon for crows, spies, and the such. 

          A little piece of Srenna and Srennan's conversation (they speak in the order of their names):

          "So, we'll come face-to-face with that villain again."

"I want to go to Mordor _right now_ and solve our problem and go home!"

"Srennan, let's not rush. The balance of this universe is hanging by a thread, if we are here; chances are it'll turn in Middle Earth's favor. We can't defeat Sauron with magic either, because we are bound to the law as the _Istari_ are. We cannot meet force with force. We must let the citizens of Middle Earth decide for themselves. We may help, but no more. Dreary as this may sound, _it cannot be broken_." 

"But don't they win anyhow? And what do you mean, "again"?"

"The fate of everything hangs on a decision, if we are here to guide them in the right direction, things may go better. You know very well by "again"."

"Ugh, fine, be that way, you're worse than Gandalf."

Here Srenna snorted, causing Gandalf to look at them both strangely.

          Legolas leapt on a rock and said, "I see two-score crows. They are certainly the spies of Saruman." 

          How's this for a beginning? Review, and please tell me what a Mary-Sue is?

          À la prochaine!


	6. Loads of snow

          This is driving me crazy! What the heck is a Mary-Sue? 

Anyhow, many people were asking (verbally) me what I meant by that part where Srennan and I have that conversation, and "We meet Sauron _again_", well, the original idea was that there was this evil spirit that was going around and polluting people's minds, just because it had something against a happy life. Well, we were like, these people appointed to defeat this spirit and all that "blah blah blah" I was telling Srennan. So, we (naturally) had been around in a lot of worlds, and overthrew this bad guy a few times, so, Srenna had this feeling that he was behind this again. Umm, my friends just told me that this doesn't make sense. Hopefully, you'll understand, if you don't, umm… just ignore, it's not crucial to understanding the story. 

          Tarabrethil- thank you for being so persistent at reviewing. Do NOT call me Gandalf, or I'll snort in your face. OMG! This is being shown? *Mutters angrily about editor problems*

          Lady Vivien- I got a 7! So you know what this means? I can still turn it around! *Jumping around ecstatically*

          To everyone else who reviewed, thank you so much. Mary-Sue or not, I'll keep writing. I'm so sorry that the last chapter was so short. Schoolwork was responsible. I had to do five pages of work for Madame Psycho Woman and then, today; she announces that we aren't going to anything with it. It doesn't even count for marks! Grr… 

          So, on with the story!

          Disclaimer: I see crows! 

          WHAT! Oh, oops, you got Legolas's lines. (Wait, do any of you have a feeling we've been through this before?)

          Legolas was on the verge of shooting all of the crows when they all fell to the ground in a heap. Everyone reeled, that is, everyone but Srenna & Srennan. They were oblivious to the heaping crows. Instead, they were concentrating on something else, something far away, by the expressions on their faces. An agonizing minute passed, and another, and another… then, suddenly, all the crows went limp as the two Srennans opened their eyes. 

"Whew! That was hard! I think Saruman has grown stronger since last time." Srenna said.

"Well, I wouldn't call it _hard_ exactly, wrenching crow minds from Saruman, but it's just _uncomfortable_." Srennan disagreed.

"I was using more energy than you, but it is uncomfortable." Was the reply.

At this point, they realized that everyone was staring at them rather curiously and quickly dropped subject. As they went on their way up Mt. Caradhas, wolves were heard howling on the plains below. Frodo, because of his memories of the Nazguls were associated with wolves, kept clinging on to Gandalf's robes. Finally, Gandalf was so fed up with his behavior that he threatened to hit Frodo with his staff if Frodo didn't let go of his robes. 

Merry and Srennan were busy at work trying to dissuade Sam from talking to Bill about the Shire, as it was very loud and had already attracted the attention of the wolves. Srennan gave one last try by saying, "If you don't stop, you could cause an avalanche." 

Pippin was trying to distance himself from Boromir. Obvious reasons being that Boromir's friendly pats on the back had turned rather pushy once on the mountain. Pippin thought (more correctly than he will ever know) "He must think to push me off the mountain and then try to get the ring from Frodo while he's distracted by grief." 

Legolas was lamenting to Gimli about the state of his originally perfect tights. Gimli looked to be on the verge of swinging his axe at Legolas to make him shut up for the time being when he was suddenly pushed face first in the snow by Lori, who was trying to escape from the killer jabs of Arileen.

Meanwhile, Srenna was off to the side trying to get away from Aragorn, who was asking her non-stop about her sword. All four of the swords were made out of star-silver, but how was she supposed to explain the concept of star-silver to Aragorn, who didn't even have an idea of what stainless steel was?

Anyhow, the Fellowship was like this when Saruman caught them off guard. With a string of words he cast a giant ice-storm/blizzard at Mt. Caradhas. Everyone was so surprised and unprepared for this sudden blast of wind and stinging snow that they were unbalanced. Gimli, being wobbly on high heights already, and propelled by Lori (desperately trying to escape Arileen) rolled off the mountain in a large ball of snow and beard. 

Lori lost her balance, footing, and guardrail (which was, unfortunately, Gimli) and rolled down after him, looking a tangle of blonde hair and white cloak. Arileen, overthrown by the force of her dive at Lori (who was not there anymore), slid down, the rest of the Fellowship that was still on the mountain could hear her yell, "Wheeeee! This is fuuuuuuun!! I want to do it again!!! Elendiiiiil!!!! Le Grand, Grand Fromage!!!!!" 

Pippin jumped down because it looked fun. Merry followed because they weren't supposed to be separated for a second. Frodo, attempting to save Merry, fell over and went down the mountain in flips. Unfortunately for Gandalf, Frodo still had a grip on his robe, so down Gandalf went, his beard flying in the air. He was actually face down, and was yelling, "My Staff! Frodo, if we come out of this alive, I'm mashing you!!" 

Srennan (both) looked at each other and shrugged. Then they both let out a "Geronimo!" and jumped down. It was a free fall. Aragorn and Legolas looked at each other and sweatdropped. "Too much westerns." Legolas said, finally finding his words.  

Boromir, angry at not being able to get at Pippin anymore, pushed Legolas down into the snowy depths. At the same time, Sam rushed towards his pony, which was being towed down the mountain by Starbeam and Rhiannon. Aragorn, hearing the yells of Gandalf, jumped and slipped and started bouncing off the mountain-side, the last thing that went through his mind was, "Okay, now you've done it!"

So how do people like this. You see, I have decided to make this a pure comedy, in hopes of avoiding Mary-Sue. See you next time!


	7. Prelude to Moria

          Hello peoples. Immediately after my ban from the computer, I am typing this up. Hope you guys aren't too angry with me. Tarabrethil has been a pillar (pill-"are") of support during this last depressing month. I want to thank her profusely. 

Tarabrethil- Oh yeah, I said "VM" was Viggo M. yesterday and you said no. I'm munching on a bagel ("ba" as in bag) right now. [This one's for you (Arwen/Tinuviel reborn/Aragorn/Stridey-face/Strider/Estel/Beregond/Le Grand Fromage… I think you know why we just call her Tarabrethil now)]. 

(It's a damn cold night, trying to figure out this life. Won't you take me by the hand… take me somewhere new, don't know who you are, but I… Sorry, got carried away there, my favorite song.)

Disclaimer: If you believe I own Lotr… go to www.lordoftherings.net and you'll find out the truth in more or less ten minutes. 

~        ~        ~        ~        ~        ~        ~        ~        ~

-Chapter 7-

After everyone fell off Mt. Caradhas (by accident or by will), this is how things stood: 

At the foot of Mt. Caradhas, Arileen was in a heated discussion (more of an argument) with Aragorn and Gandalf. Srenna and Srennan were administering to Frodo (who had a shiver that wouldn't go away) and Pippin (who was high on some kind of hobbit weed). The horses had been sent to accompany Bill the pony home. They were given directions to wait for the fellowship at Lothlorien or, if it was too late, at Rohan. The rest were either sulking or being alone and practicing something. 

Srenna was pale and staggering before she took out the festering Nazgul-ness in Frodo, but now he wouldn't be troubled by it unless he was brought before the Flaming Eye himself, and then, well, he probably wouldn't notice it. Part of the reason that Srenna was staggering was because Sam wouldn't stop bending over Frodo being all concerned. Srennan was not very happy with Pippin, as she kept on taking away his hidden weed with a summoning command, as he was being very uncooperative. She and Merry spent the rest of the evening speaking to him about the evils of drugs and being high when that would get them killed. 

Boromir and Gimli were feeling sorry for themselves (as usual), being stuck on this quest unwillingly. Legolas had stomped off to have a 3000-year-old elf prince sulk because everyone was paying more attention to Frodo and Co. Lori was off somewhere trying to practice her new skills with her magic, she found a very interesting mole and started chatting to him about the weather and such things in general. In fact, she was the only person who was even remotely happy in all the fellowship.            

Arileen, Gandalf, and Aragorn were still arguing ferociously about whether to take the Pass of Rohan, try to climb back up Caradhas, or go through Moria. The only thing they agreed about was not to take the road back to Mt. Caradhas, as Gandalf puts it: "We have already wasted much time arguing (he finally notices!). If Saruman seeks to attack us again, we might not be as lucky this time, for, the lady Srenna (here Arileen snorted) and the lady Arileen (here Aragorn snorted) had been holding the worst off. They are weary and will not be able to do as much." 

Aragorn didn't want to go to the Pass of Rohan, as he puts it: "I cannot fathom how we can possibly do well when we are so close to the realm of Saruman. That twisted wizard would have us all killed and dead if we ever stray too near." 

Arileen didn't want to go either, but she has a different reason, "As Saruman has shown us by sending a blizzard, he is capable of controlling the weather. If he creates an avalanche, it would take all the life in my friends just to stop the avalanche, so unless you want to carry four vegetables into even greater danger and hostility, I suggest that road not." 

Aragorn and Gandalf were a little puzzled at the part about the vegetables, but obeyed her in front of her wrath. (Besides, she read the books and they didn't!) Everyone got all set to go to Moria, Gandalf had the air of one being on a death march, but then you might say so because of what happened with the Balrog (hint, hint).

Gandalf was thinking about the Balrog and whether it remembered the bad date they went on in the Second Age while pretending to be thinking about the password. Frodo, totally clueless (as he usually is despite the fact that he was the main character), came and solved the mystery. Pippin, peeved that he had to wait so long, threw a stone at Gandalf, but as he was quite weak, the stone didn't make it and landed in the lake with a plop. 

The octopus, quite annoyed at being disturbed, reached out to grab the hobbit that had done it. Unfortunately for Frodo, Pippin was hiding behind him, so the octopus grabbed Frodo. Gimli freaked out and ran inside Moria, screaming like the ninny that he claims Legolas to be, and to prove his comment true, Legolas closely followed. Lori was frantically forcing the squid let go of the Ringbearer. Aragorn and Boromir dropped their argument about Aragorn's claim to kingship and chopped at the squid unsystematically (is there such a word?). All the hobbits grabbed Frodo's feet and pulled, this didn't quite help, as, his boots came off and the hobbits' momentum bore them inside Moria, crashing into the just-recovering-from-hysterics pair (Legolas and Gimli). Arileen called all the oxygen in the water to avoid the squid. Srenna and Srennan were laughing their heads off, as this was another one of those I've-got-to-read-everyone's-mind moments. 

· Aragorn: Time to be macho!

· Boromir: What in the name of the White Tower is _that_? 

· Frodo: Get me outta here! Yuck! Stop kissing me, you perverted squid! Oops, think I got him angry.

· Gandalf: Aunt Gertrude? *Terrified*

· Gimli: Have…to…calm…down.

· Legolas: *speechless*

· Merry: I wonder if we can have calamari with mushrooms.

· Pippin: Sushi!

· Sam: Master! No!

· Arileen: What the @#$% did Pippin have to do that for?!

· Lori: Must…not…panic…Will…ruin…complexion…

· Srenna: *bent over from laughing*

· Srennan: *laughing so hard she nearly fell into the lake*

After Aragorn and Boromir chopped off most of the squid's legs, Gandalf appeared out of nowhere and hushed everyone into the dark depths of Moria. In other news, they had sushi that night. 

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          Voila! This is the end of chapter 7!

          No, I'm just kidding, that would be too mean.

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Here are some peeks into the fellowship's diaries:

Srenna's velvet midnight blue diary:

Month #2 (I lost count, but hey, this journey should be in its second month by now)

          I am too weak to write much. It's a combination of laughing too hard and healing Frodo of the Nazgul-shadow. Stupid Sam wouldn't stop bending over Frodo while I was in the process of healing; he interrupted me three times before Srennan used a binding spell on him. _She_ knew my work was too important to interrupt. We are now in Moria. The members of the fellowship have invented a new game: it's called, "Knock A Corpse Down The Well And Blame Pippin". Life is dreary. I'm going to turn in. Not that it's hard to fall asleep in the dark. 

Yawn,

Srenna

Srennan's velvet violet diary with silver sparkles:

Day 33 (I'm assuming)

Phew! What a day! 

You don't realize how tiring it is when you're reading the book, but it has been absolutely beastly here. I can't even see my fingers in front of my eyes. Too bad. Gandalf is searching his pointy hat for batteries, it's amazing how much stuff you can store there. On second thought, Gandalf isn't a wizard for nothing, so I left him alone. 

My eyes hurt,

Srennan

Arileen's flowered plush diary (with a "Two Towers" bookmark featuring Aragorn and the Star of Elendil; blue tassel attached):

Day 33 (midnight- by the looks of it)

Had a @$#!-ing fight with Gandalf and Aragorn on the path to take. What idiots. Besides, I've read the books and they haven't, so they should listen to me. *She is smoking at the ears by now* if I was Gandalf, I'd send Frodo to Mordor and drop the ring into the fire, but no *extends the "no"*, we are bloody limited because of that bloody rule about how the habitants have to choose their own bloody fate and if they're not bloody willing to participate… bloody stuff. After I get this adventure over with, I'm so going to sue the Charter of Conduct for limiting capacities, because bad guys don't play by the rules… grr. Just you wait.

Oops, I accidentally knocked a corpse down the well in my anger. Oh well, I'm blaming Pippin.

Arileen 

Lori's brown leather notebook (with a bookmark featuring Eowyn and a charm-like horse head; sky blue tassel attached):

Day 33 

I got to meet a mole! I got to meet a mole! Too excited to write now.

Bye,

Lori

P.S. I think I knocked a corpse down the well in my excitement. Oh well, there's always Pippin to blame it on!

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Well, what do you think? I was typing this during the exam session, so it might not have made a lot of sense. 

If you aren't too busy, review! 

Thanx,

Indigo Star 


	8. Disaster in the grand hall

          Attack! Attack! What the? Oops, I accidentally deleted my intro. Oh well, I'll type it again, please bear with me. 

I just saw The Two Towers. All I can say is: no wonder they waited until Tolkien died to twist the movie. 

1. Arwen wasn't even in The Two Towers. The only part that mentions her in the 300+ page book is when Elladan and Elrohir give Aragorn the standard.

2. There are some smooching that having no right to be in the book even _after_ Arwen and Aragorn married each other.

3. The dawn-less day is at the _end_ of the book, not the beginning or middle. 

4. Three is enough for anything, so I'll abbreviate my list.

Paris – What do you think? Eomer?! Can you be clueless? You can figure it out! Come on!

Tarabrethil – I hope your hair isn't as short as Frodo's.

Disclaimer: I do not own Lotr, or else I would have fired and or sued Peter Jackson's romantic @$$.

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- Chapter Eight –

Our dear, brave fellowship was camping in the utter darkness with only Gandalf's glow-in-dark staff (bandaged and taped after falling off Caradhas) for light. Aragorn was polishing/sharpening Anduril (I think that's how you spell it). Boromir was sulking in a remote corner because he didn't like Aragorn. Frodo was dreaming fitfully. Gandalf was trying to remember which passage to take. Gimli was snoring loud enough to wake up the whole goblin population in Moria (and I think that is what he did). Legolas was looking for a mirror in his luggage. Merry was convincing Pippin to not attack everyone who was accusing him of knocking corpses down the well (if he did, all the armed men in the fellowship would become inanimate, providing he could beat them up). Sam was waking up every time Frodo stirred, so I can't say he was sleeping. Arileen and Lori were arguing just because they felt like it. Srenna and Srennan were in heated discussion about whether Jodie Ste. Emilion (Detective Conan- Manga) was really Vermouth and, consequently, whether they were both the same person as Chris Vineyard. 

Suddenly, Gandalf stood up, waking the people who were asleep and startling the people who were preoccupied. He declared, "I have finally remembered the passage to take. We must make haste." Grumbling, the whole fellowship got up on its feet. Gandalf led them up and down tunnels until they were truly lost and couldn't have found the way back even if they knew which passages they took. Everyone was rubbing sore feet when Gandalf and Gimli went into a grand hall sort of room. 

Legolas found a tiny round mirror in his pocket and jumped for joy. He hopped around the room much to the annoyance of the other members of the Fellowship. On one very exuberant hop, he knocked over a secret passage and trapped Gandalf and Gimli in the "grand hall". Srenna and Srennan were so irritated that they channeled the feeling and lifted the door clean out of the way. Gandalf and Gimli came running out. Gimli was panting incomprehensibly, "Tuh-thh-heh-meh." Gandalf said something about triggers, and started to run forward through the "grand hall". 

Legolas twisted an ankle on the rubble-strewn floor, but had enough sense to keep quiet about it. He had no trouble getting out of there thanks to his ability of being able to walk on top of unstable material. 

Frodo got an increasing sense of foreboding. Dust was falling everywhere, Merry, Pippin, and Sam were coughing really hard, and they couldn't keep up. The three hobbits fell in the middle of a cloud of dust. 

Boromir disappeared under a giant block of granite that fell from the ceiling. Everyone became aware of the danger they were in, and ran out of there on the double. Lori realized that the block she was leaping over had Boromir trapped, so she drew her sword to chop the stone. The sword was surprisingly sharp as it sliced the huge block to pieces, but time was running out, and she began to hack at it frantically. Stone chips flew everywhere and added to the debris around them. The stone fell away to reveal a groaning, half-conscious Boromir. Lori pulled him on his feet by sheer desperation. They stumbled out of the doorway just as the keystone crashed down.

Arileen and the two Srennans each carried a hobbit. They were still coughing and very hard to hold. They ran out first and went to a corner. There, Arileen rummaged around for cough drops; Srennan was healing the internal damage the smoke and dust did; Srenna was putting them through compressed deep rest and relaxation. Off in the distance, they heard a wail. "Oops, that's Frodo," said Srenna automatically.  

Frodo and Gandalf were scouring the ruins for any sign of the missing people and hobbits. When they found nothing, Frodo let out a bleak wail. The girls and the hobbits rushed over to see what was wrong. Frodo fell upon the three hobbits and sobbed like crazy. Lori thumped the girls each on the head, "That's for making me think you were dead." All three girls started to protest at once. 

Just then, Aragorn and Gandalf each held up a hand. Silence fell, and everyone could here sliding whispers down the length of the passageway. 

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'K, here ya go! The eighth chapter to my seemingly never-ending story (hehehe) is here at last.

Any comments, and just stop to review. 

Thanx,

Indigo Star

P.S. Has anyone seen Ararine?


	9. Under the eaves of Lothlorien

          Okay… I know you guys are going to kill me for not updating in such a long time. I'm really sorry, you see, my Word program kept on stalling and then I had to reinstall it like a million times, only it never worked, so I'm stuck in a deep deep rut. *Sniff* I'm here at school, and I have some spare time before mom picks me up, so I'm trying to finish this on time.

          Thanx to all the people who reviewed! It's really nice when you get reviews because you know that _somebody_ cares about your story. 

          _Disclaimer: I do not own Lotr and all other related stuff._

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- Chapter 9-__

The-very-dusty-and-wrinkled diary of Gandalf:

Dear diary,

Today I led the Fellowship through Moria to one of its many exits facing west. There was little problem with the masonry, but all is well now. It must be the age of this place. Things were falling down everywhere, and all the people (hobbits, elf, and dwarf) had a big fuss about their injuries. 

The goblins came after us in thousands, and we were forced to flee. I think that blond girl, (what's her name again? Mori or Lily?) did some negotiating and they gave us a fair start. All the same, in doing battle with the Balrog, I fell down the deep depths of Khazad-Dum. 

The Balrog is really nice. He seems a bit lonely. He seemed to have mistaken us for intruders of his super-secret-but-all-the-goblins-know-private hole. I assured him that we were just passing through. Anyhow, I'm here, writing in this diary with a mug of ot cholat (at least that's what he called it). He has a weird accent, like he doesn't pronounce the "h"s in words and stuff. He makes the most delicious crosaunts (Where does this guy get the names?). I think his name is Quasimodo or something like that. Oh well, Hope the Fellowship isn't too cross at me for taking an unexpected and temporary vacation.

Gandalf  

~        ~        ~

          While Gandalf was safe and sound in the Balrog's cave, the rest of the fellowship was busy shedding tears. Srennan(s), Arileen were keeping straight faces with great difficulty, as they knew that Gandalf was due to come back in a month or so… Lori was peeved off at having been chased out of Moria by Arileen and was now pouting. Boromir was having an argument with Aragorn… again, for like, the hundredth time since the journey started. 

          "We need to move on!" –Aragorn's face was all red from running and anger.

          "Give them a moment for their grief!" Boromir countered. 

          Frodo stared off into the distance, tears clouding his crystal blue (I think it's blue) eyes. Sam was all troubled about Frodo's disposition, as he was getting too depressed-looking for Sam's liking. Merry and Pippin were still too shocked to do anything, as the Balrog scared them quite a lot. Legolas was gazing out into the horizon, as if trying to see if Gandalf was out there. Gimli was sharpening his axe and grunting to himself, as he actually liked the old wizard. Many people don't know this, but Gimli has a soft side… only, being a dwarf, he's been trained to not show it. 

          Anyhow, Aragorn got his wish and the fellowship got a move on. Srenna and Srennan were trying to foil the crows again and were in very foul moods. They argued in loud tones, and relapsed into silence when they discovered the countryside was astir, but they kept on glaring at each other. Srennan, for her part, settled on Rhiannon and started to read Inu-yasha mangas. Srenna rolled her eyes and started to read Marmalade Boy mangas. Arileen and Lori, having each "swallowed a fly", were now giving each other the silence treatment. Arianhrod, the elven horse that Elrond lent Arileen, nuzzled her gently to calm her down. It did cheer Arileen up, although her opinion of Lori continued to sour. Vice versa with Lori, only her horse was named Windhooves. Gimli and the rest of the fellowship were resenting the fact that they were being led around by a Boy Scout and four girls. 

          By nightfall they had reached the edge of Lothlorien and were debating whether or not to go in there. Gimli, being a dwarf, naturally opposed. Merry and Pippin, who had gotten over seeing the Balrog, were actually trying to find any way to avoid forest, due to the little incident in the Old Forest in the Shire. The rest were all for the forest, as Legolas missed the eaves of Mirkwood; Boromir being too tired to oppose Aragorn; the girls, being too stubborn to consult each other. Aragorn, not too keen to see his grandmother-in-law, but knew the consequences of not going and convinced the grumbling Gimli and the shivering hobbits to come with him. 

          The woods on both sides immediately closed in when they entered. The hobbits moaned, as their nightmares seemed to come true. Boromir was ready to whip his blade out and bolt in the direction of the outer borders. Legolas was humming a song, completely unaware of the trees' movement. Gimli was incoherently rasping something about demons. No one noticed that the four girls were gone until Aragorn took a roll call of everyone. They all wondered what evil fate had befallen them when wood elves stepped out and greeted them. Pippin was tempted to say 'take me to your leader', but decided against it when Aragorn shot him a warning glance. In the end, Pippin's little thought became true as the elves led them to Galadriel's tree. Imagine their surprise when they discovered the four girls sitting cross legged with Galadriel, sipping green tea!

          Frodo and the hobbits all made some incomprehensible, hobbity noise. Boromir just gaped. Legolas, being an elf, asked for a mug of green tea too. Aragorn, on his best behavior, kept quiet. 

          Galadriel rose, "It has come to my attention that you are in need of some aide." 

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How do ya like it? If you have the time, please review. I'm posting their diaries in the next chapter.   


	10. Dear Diary

          Sorry peoples… my grades are slipping… and so is my free time allowance. Well, I finally got this done… oh, I have to stop doing the little "…" s. 

          So, without further ado:

          _Disclaimer: I do not own anything in Lotr… if I did, then I'd tell Viggo Mortesen to get some shampoo (no offense to anyone who likes him, but he has really greasy hair.)_

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-Chapter Ten-

          The very-neat-and-Sam-reads-in-it-everyday/night diary of Frodo, so of Drogo:

Dear diary,

I am amazed that I am not getting any nightmares about the forest… in fact, I didn't get any nightmares. Thank goodness, the pastrami on rye thing was beginning to haunt me. (N/A: Go to Yahoo, type in Lotr-the lost diaries, and you'll find this really ^^ site on Lotr.) Sam is going around and asking these really obvious questions to the elves, I'm embarrassed to be with him. Every time he asks a "duh!" question, the elves give me this "and who is this guy?" look, followed by an eyebrow. 

Oh well, at least he doesn't go around carrying a water pitcher and singing "Nimrodel". *Glares at Legolas* It's getting into my head! Better than Celine Dion, in any case. 

He is also not carrying an axe around and jumping at every single footstep behind him. *Glares at Gimli* 

Sam is also not going around everywhere with his nose stuck in a … whatchamacallit… mango? *Glares at both Srennans, who are not noticing, because their noses are in manga* 

Sam is also not going around ignoring each other and muttering in German, French, and Italian. *Glares at Lori and Arileen* 

Sam also doesn't spend the whole day being yelled at by Galadriel for ruining her granddaughter's life (like we don't already have enough things to do!). *Rolls eyes and glares at Aragorn* 

He also doesn't spend the day going around the forest and getting drunk on Ent-draught, oops, wrong book, getting drunk on elvish wine. *Glares at Merry and Pippin*

Enough glaring… my eyes are all red and watery. You know, sometimes I can sympathize with Sauron. This "evil eye" stuff must get so straining. Good night, I foresee another Arileen vs. Lori coming on.

Night,

Frodo

  
          The rugged-and-camouflaged-yet-somehow-Galadriel-and-Arwen-knows diary of Aragorn:

Dear diary,

Oh dear, Frodo has been affected very badly by the One ring. He's glaring at everyone. Like we don't already have enough of that going on. *Glaring at Lori, who is glaring at Arileen, who is glaring back at Lori* Seems like the whole fellowship has caught it, except for the two… what are their names again? 

I think it's the two Shredded Wheat's. I suppose their parents couldn't find easier pronouncing names? But it's not that good on their side either. Those two are like zombies with their manga. 

Boromir is moaning about the state of the forest. Shut up! This is the best you'll get. Lothlorien is a four star elf habitation, you know! 

Sam constantly smells of strawberry soap. Methinks that he has been raiding the elves' bath supplies. Poor Galadriel! She's not the only one… Elrond has been complaining about soap supplies too.

Legolas is so much at home, I almost envy him. He's been wearing patched tights… I wonder why. He's usually such a stickler for appearance.

Gimli has been unusually jumpy… time for he and Legolas to switch places. *Grins wickedly*

Merry and Pippin have been getting drunk on elf-wine. It is very potent. It also keeps those two annoying pests out of the way for a day or two. *Grins again*

I have to stop writing all this stuff… but I didn't get a chance to write anything in Moria, it was too dark. I miss Arwen… I miss Arwen… did I mention that I miss Arwen? Well, I miss her. Yesterday I asked Haldir for a razor, as my Indiana Jones five-o'clock shadow is turning into Indiana Jones eleven-o'clock (PM) shadow, well, he grinned and told me, "Elves don't have beards, you boy-scout!" 

Going to look at some maps of Gondor,

Aragorn

The freakishly-magenta-and-purple-swirls diary of Legolas:

Dear Diary,

I hate magenta! I hate purple!! Why did aunt Arinei have to torture me!!! *Sighs*

That Lori girl has been practicing archery with her friend Srenna (by the way, that is, like, the only time she has her nose out of a mango) and a couple of wood elves. Not bad, considering she didn't even know how to hold a bow at the beginning. The other thing that's not bad about her is her face… what a pair of blue eyes (and cherry lips, and blond hair, and that cute little nose). *Sighs again*

However, she does have to practice her aim. The other day, I flirted with her to no avail, and so I went to get a pitcher of water. When I came back, my tights that had been hung out to dry had an arrow sticking on the behind, with a note attached, saying, "Wherefore art thou so blind to my intentions? I likest thou not!!!" 

Henceforth, I have been heartbroken and walking around in patched tights. 

Night,

Legolas

P.S. Where in the Mirkwood is my night-light?

The princely-and-carefully-bound-in-leather diary of Boromir:

Dear Diary,

That Aragorn guy had better watch out! He doesn't know who he's dealing with. *Puffs up chest* I am Boromir, son of the steward of Gondor, and of most noble origin. 

WHO AM I KIDDING??? My life sucks. My quest sucks. And while I'm at it, my hair sucks too. Damn this horn of Gondor. I wanted to go for violin, but would my dad listen? Nooooo. I told him that it was impossible to play Stravinsky on this horn, but he didn't care. Then that stupid messenger with a stupid riddle attached to a stupid quest came along, stupidly, if you ask me. He fell off his horse! 

So now I'm stuck here with a bunch of gay ninnies, four stuck-up girls, and one puffed up Boy Scout for support. And they wonder why we're losing the war with Sauron? 

I'm getting too mad…

Nite,

Boromir

The grass-stained-because-he-dropped-it-on-the-lawn-one-time-too-many diary of Samwise:

Dear diary,

These elves are such good gardeners! I have to go and pry some more secrets from him. There's one disturbing fact though: Lady Galadriel had me look in her magical birdbath. I saw lumps of clay take over Hobbiton, scary… I'm glad she didn't turn out to be a fortuneteller. 

Laters,

Sam

The heavily-tattoed-and-gilted-so-that-it-looks-doubly-scary diary of Gimli:

Dear diary,

Nothing to say about these ... creatures walking around with pointy ear implants. They're a bunch of weaklings, just think, they can't even dig a tunnel. Except for Galadriel, she was so hot, I whistled at her. The elves didn't seem to mind. She has such long hair… such long flowing hair… such long golden flowing hair. 

Night,

Gimli

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Okay… guys I'm really sorry for the delay… please see my bio for explanations. 

Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry  Sorry  Sorry  Sorry  Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry  Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry.

I hope this tells you how I feel right now…


	11. Misadventures of Lori, Srenna and Srenna...

          I'm back! *Giggles* I have been reading too much of Zurizip's "Chaos and Mayhem" And now I have all these conversations stuck in my head… like the one about bacteria… help moi!! March break is finally here!!! Unfortunately, my Chinese school teacher took the opportunity to load us with more hmwk than usual (which is still a lot) … _damn this_! Uh-oh, I'm starting to sound like Tarabrethil… *sighs* at least I don't go around saying _athelas_.

_Disclaimer: I love strawberry/watermelon Skittles! _

_Me: What the h---?!?!?! *Catches a glance of the real disclaimer doing a can-can with Saruman* Get back here you!_

_Disclaimer: Can you do the can-can? Saruman can do the can-can! _

_Me: *dragging the disclaimer back in place by the neck.* _

_Saruman: *looking around, very alarmed* First it's those young delinquents with anti-bleach advocacy, and now it's her. What is Middle Earth coming to?_

_Me: go away, you're not due until four chapters later!_

_Saruman: *sniffs* _

_Disclaimer: I, Indigo Star, do not own any Lotr relate materials. *runs away with Saruman before I can catch it*_

_Me: oh well…_

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          Legolas darted in and out of the dense forestation, trying desperately to escape a magic-ed arrow sent by Lori to express her feelings towards him. Unbeknownst to him, Lori had been persuaded by the two Srennans to explore Lothlorien while they are still staying there and to enjoy Middle Earth for as long as she can. 

In any case, they were walking in a completely different direction than him and were going to look for hair-taffy (for Arileen, just in case anyone was wondering). Maybe the Srennans didn't notice that, or maybe they just ignored it to torture the poor elf. Be that as it may, the spell remained on the arrow and the arrow remained hot on the trail of the blond elf.

Lori was perfectly aware of the spell and the arrow, but she just let it go, with a grin to herself. 

"C'mon! We need to get that taffy before A Certain Person starts bellowing about the state of her hair." (This was Srenna.)

"And I have to get some strawberry flavored soap for Master Samwise, who asked his master, who asked me because that that Certain Master has an appointment with Galadriel the highest queen elf." (This was Srennan.)

"Oh why did I even come with you guys for this? I D-O-N-T L-I-K-E L-O-T-R! It's, like, the most boring epic on earth, and like, Tolkien copied the Germans!" (This was Lori.) (A/N: This is actually a direct quote from the real Lori, whose name I cannot disclose for security and privacy reasons.) 

So anyways, they wandered to the root of a gigantic oak tree. It was older than Fangorn (the ent) himself, although the girls didn't know that. Srenna put her hand on the apparently solid trunk of the tree and said, "I come in peace to Lothlorien and am a guest of the Lady Galadriel. I ask for entrance."

The other girls looked at Srenna and were about to ask her what she was talking about when a big rectangular piece of bark swung open to reveal a door. 

Srenna said, "This may seem surprising, but, the elves are very protective about their hygiene materials." A curious silence followed, and Srenna continued, "This came about in the period of the Watchful Peace, when a guest opened the door, he made off with all the shampoo." This time, Srennan and Lori just gave Srenna a strange glance, she ignored them and said, "Well, _somebody_ had to wash out the grease in his hair! It was actually an accident, but the Elves were wary after that."

Srennan sniffed the air and said, "I smell an odd mixture of… strawberry, pineapple and some chemical scent that not even the Disreputable Dog can distinguish." (A/N: The Disreputable Dog is from another book: "Lirael" by Garth Nix, she is known for a very sharp nose that detects any scent within a five-kilometer radius.) 

Srenna sniffed, and said, "I don't smell anything odd. Just a bunch of Hawaiian Punch flavored floss." "No way!" Exclaimed Lori, "I don't believe it! There's all sorts essential oils!" The two Srennans groaned. Lori lived for Essential Oils; they were her life's breath, the thing that she depended on for sanity (although most of us would agree that she has none, judging from her actions). 

Having nothing to do and having run out of manga to read, Srennan decided to join Srenna in making an inventory of Galadriel and Celeborn's bathroom storage:

1. Five stacks of various scented soap: strawberry, regular, pink, rose, mango, pineapple, butterscotch, apple, pear, crystal, icy fresh, mint, and macho cologne. (I think the last few were Celeborn's).

2. Large quantities of Hawaiian Punch flavored dental floss.

3. Elfshine toothpaste (gives brilliantly white teeth!)

4. Slick gel (guaranteed to calm the worst hair situations).

5. Perfume (I certainly hope this is Galadriel's).

6. Cologne (Ditto with Celeborn).

7. Hair taffy (aha! Now we can go back to our tree house.)

8. Essential Oils – tangerine, pine, lavender, green tea (etc…)

9. Untangle spray (guaranteed to tame even the longest curls!)

10. Pointy ear cream (all fruit flavors)

This done and the hair taffy found, the Srennans and Lori were on their way back to the tree house when Galadriel stepped  in front of them and requested their presence. Puzzled, but somehow knowing what was coming, the Srennans followed Galadriel. Lori was just plain peeved and was starting to remember why she hated Lotr and elves.

Galadriel fixed them all with a piercing gaze for a long time before she broke the spell and stared at Lori and said, "You first." 

Lori went with here into the little clearing of trees that were somehow shielded by the mallorn branches. A voice spoke behind her making Lori jump high in the air. "In the Mirror of Galadriel, one sees many things of the pas, present, and future. What you will see I cannot tell, but it will give you things to ponder."

Lori was a bit taken aback and obediently looked into the reflecting water. She didn't see anything except for grey tendrils of mist twisting around the water. Biting her lip, she looked up at Galadriel, and shook her head. Galadriel stretched out a white hand and touched the cheek of the girl. Lori didn't flinch, and only looked back defiantly. 

Galadriel sighed, suddenly looking very weary. She said, "I cannot see your future, for it is intertwined with the will of the Valar, and is not yet revealed. You have been given a hard path to walk, and when you come to it, think of the merry things in your life."

Lori nodded, although she didn't understand a word. A hard path? The Valar? Impossible! The elf woman has finally gone batty, she decided.

Srenna passed through the same ordeal, although her vision was of a single blue gem, circling forever in a world of mist. Galadriel only shook her head, refusing to speak, and, for the first time in all her years, looked world-weary.

Srennan saw Gondor from a bird's eye point of view, but she didn't know it, and only marveled at the strangeness of it. 

          ~        ~        ~

          I could end it now and be totally mean, or I can let you scroll down and see what happens after.

          ~        ~        ~

          Lori and the two Srennans were much subdued after their unexpected appointment with Galadriel. They went back to their tree house, scarcely noticing that there were very few elves, which was unusual, because this was their time to stroll around the woods and sing about Nimrodel. 

          At dusk, when Lori decides to sleep on her not-so-much-of-a-vision-y vision, Srennan detected a funny scent in the air. Signaling Srenna to make as little noise as possible, they snuck out of the tree house.   

          Breathing night air and walking peacefully, the two friends whispered back and forth.

          "What are you doing?"

          "I smelled something strange, so I thought we should investigate."

          "Somebody has been reading too much Conan."

          "What's that supposed to mean?!"

          "For goodness's sake! This is an elf forest, not some urban area full of dangerous radicals trying to gas every American in sight!"

          "Yeah, and on whose authority are you assured that this is perfectly safe?"

          "…"

          "So?"

          "You're right, there's definitely something strange and human-ish here."

          "Told you!"

          "Don't rub it in, or I may be forced to rub that nose of yours in."

          "Hey! My nose is perfectly beautiful and not as flat as yours!"

          "Uh-huh. And your nose is, like, two mm taller than mine."

          "Oh shut up Srennan." (A/N: when we're together, we call each other by our full first names. It's more fun. ^^)

          "You too Srennan." 

          The two girls followed their noses, and, strangely, arrived at the clearing around the storage tree. (Remember? The soap storage and stuff?) They took a sniff, and went, "OH MIGOSH!" 

          The elves, hearing something in the middle of their hair treatment, came from behind the giant tree and found them. Clearly knocked out by the fumes of what they were using, the two girls had fainted right in front of the elves' re-blonding station, where the elves were standing in a circle around a big bucket of bleach.

~        ~        ~        ~        ~        ~        ~        ~

*Smiles happily* So, how do you guys like this? *Smile starts to fade as a breeze carries a familiar smell to her* I am so sad… my mom took the computer outside my room. *Recognizes scent* Now I can't use the computer without her knowing and she always monitors me. *Reeling from scent* I can't update for a long time now… sorry. *HELLLLLLP!* Try telling my mom that writing fanfics are good for your literary practices. *Ack! Bleach! Passes out!* 

bye,

Indigo Star

Paris- I updated! So there. Ha!


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